Children are the Most Vulnerable to Coercive Control

Children can be both victim-survivors of IPV and Coercively Controlled Through Parenting

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There have been recent studies, several originating out of Australia, highlighting the effects of coercive control on children from different angles: one study demonstrates that in situations of domestic violence and IPV children are not passive witnesses but victim-survivors whose social-emotional and physical development, and indeed all aspects of life, are impacted, another shows how coercive control can be masked as parental discipline, and yet another slightly more niche study shows how coercive parenting around food and eating can cause poorer emotional regulation.

Identifying risks to children requires understanding the complex ways abuse patterns play out in much the same way as adult contexts, but with some core differences that can greatly affect outcomes. Children are dependent on the very caregivers who may be perpetuating the abuse, and typically are not believed when they cite their abuse. They may be developmentally incapable of recognizing that they are, in fact, being abused, and access to help is often a barrier for children without an adult caregiver to approve/facilitate.

Children face multiple forms of harm from coercive controllers in situations of domestic violence. And abuse often escalates when the abuser loses control over the other parent, with children becoming targets for the abuser's need to dominate. Children become pawns and are easily manipulated or intimidated.

There are two main areas in which children are vulnerable, and both need more research, understanding, and resources to protect victims:

• Children as victim-survivors in situations of IPV

• Children experiencing coercive control under the guise of parenting

What also bears researching is the relationship between the dual aspects of the perpetuation of coercive control on children. How does coercive control-as-parenting affect children, and additionally, are there separate effects when linked to IPV?

Psychological harm can play out in a variety of ways for both victim-survivor children where domestic abuse is present and in coercive parenting practices. What is unclear is the point of inflection and intersection between these separate and distinct groups.

Children are “victim-survivors in their own right…[and are] entitled to safety, dignity, and participation in the decisions that affect their lives. Under international human rights frameworks… including the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child… every child has the right to live free from violence, to access safe and stable housing, to receive an education, to enjoy the highest attainable standard of health, and to be heard in matters that concern them.” And yet a systemic response to the violations of children’s rights is lacking.

There seems to be a socially acceptable level of coercive control within the moniker of parenting. But in reality, coercive control is coercive control, and it is harmful.